dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Welp...herpes.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
