So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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