We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
