Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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