OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
