he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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