you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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