omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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