Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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