dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
