we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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