when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
