i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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