Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
