one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
