My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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