The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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