what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
