i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
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