Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
