In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
