Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
