I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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