You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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