I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
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