i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize