Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
