everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
