from now on my penis is your penis
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
