Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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