I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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