escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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