help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Randomize
