You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
