Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
