no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
