my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I'm at about main and main street
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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