he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
