you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm at about main and main street
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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