no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
it's like iHOP with fire
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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