it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
