Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
