My liver just broke up with me...
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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