Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
