God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
did i just pee glitter
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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