I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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