; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
