Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
