It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
