its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
